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Hypocrisy
Hypocrites are stereotypically defined by smartasses as annoying people who fit under the category of "ignorant", "dumbasses", "idiots", "arrogant", and sometimes even "Americans", because some people (who are wrong) such as Germans, Italians, and French, believe that every single American is a hypocrite. Well, that's probably because they have no fucking clue what the hell that word means. A hypocrite is not some kind of arrogant, ignorant person. That would be....a smartass. A hypocrite is also not the following things: *Some kind of fucking animal *A Harry Potter magic trick *A damn TV series *A medicine you take at a nursing home *Sex *A jackass *Religion (well, in some most cases....but generally) *Some books Instead, a hypocrite is someone who fucking contradicts themself and pretends to be something that they're fucking not. Every Goddamn person should know that by now. It's written all over the Bible, even, so Christians should be extremely familiar with all that bullshit, as James once said in the Old Testament: :"What the fuck is up with all this Goddamn bullshit? I thought those little motherfuckers would stop leaving me the fuck alone. What the hell, like, seriously?" :— James, the Old Testament (before it got edited) Etymology The term hypocrite is named after the Greek god HypoCock, who was the king of hypo sex. However, every time he would say that he would do something, such as cover his friend Bobby's shift from six o' clock to midnight every Saturday and occasionally Sunday, he would end up drinking a bottle of fucking Pepsi, eating some pizza, and watching the football game that was on television at the time, and so, since it was bad to call someone a crite (it meant they were a dumb fuck), everyone started calling him that from then there on, and the name stuck as HypoCrite. But it's abnormal and retarded to have a capital letter like that so we just made it a lowercase and so we made it hypocrite. However, lots of people up to this time had had trouble defining the word hypocrite and so they just said that anyone who lies is a hypocrite. Well, no, you stupid dumb fucks (or whatever the hell you call them, "crites"), that would be a liar. A hypocrite is someone who PRETENDS or CONTRADICTS THEMSELF. Dumbasses. Stereotypical definition Many idiots who have no fucking idea what the word means will attempt to know what it means, thus being a hypocrite themselves, and say that a hyopcrite is pretty much a fucking liar, when that is not the truth, obviously, as explained earlier in this article, which was also explained. This definition resulted in from the idiots calling HypoCock a liar/hypocrite (they were unknowingly calling him a liar) but that was also explained in this section. What the fuck? Why is everything already fucking explained?! History :Main article: History of hypocrisy First hypocrite (0 AD-100 AD) .]] The first hypocrite started with, if you want to even try going by the book of lies and myths, Adam & Eve, because what the Bible forgot to tell you was that Adam and Eve weren't actually human, they were ducks, and the Bible itself made the mistake of hypocrisy by trying to act like Adam & Eve were human instead of duck, mixed in with the fact of a whole bunch of other stuff added on, too. The Bible itself is the first hypocrite, and continues to lie and lie, mainly because editors of the Bible have had to constantly change the text of it to match the so called Bible codes that don't exist, and they want to act like the Bible is a book full of true stories, even though some of them are the most ridiculous and unbelievable, including Adam and Eve, the creation of the world, Elijah, Abraham, Jesus Christ, and the fact that everybody goes by the King James version, and that dude was high on drugs when he wrote the Bible, little do people know. Hypocrisy spreads (100 AD-1400 AD) Hypocrisy became very common when the whole 1960's concept of "everybody was doing it, so why can't I?" came into play during this time, and the population of those who were hypocrites-in-denial grew from 1, to 2, to 3, to 4, to 5, to 145 billion in days/weeks/months. Also, during this time, many religions adapted hypocrisy into their advertising and promotion into pulling people into the crowd of "the saved ones" or whatever, because now they don't fucking care if you go to church or not or if you're just a Christian because of society, "you've gotta confess your fucking sins to Jesus or the devil will fuck you up like you've never been fucked up before", according to one priest in Chicago, Illinois. This message resulted in the spread of religions and hypocrisy and it pretty much just fucked up the whole Goddamn world to where it is today. Medieval times vs. hypocrisy (1400-1600) :''Main article: Medieval times The Medieval times actually helped prevent hypocrisy due to how people were dying more brutally and faster and people were finally seeing that they say shit like "simply can't live this life anymore" and other shit like "I'm living a nightmare pretending to be what I'm not!!" and so it helped move the people towards a brighter side, but unfortunately, the Medieval times had to fucking end. In the year 1600, one boy, named Pegasus, had a C-4 bomb and he was ready to blow up the castle where the king lived. He had a whole ninja army with machine guns and was ready to attack like crazy, and so the king offered for him to sign a peace treaty that really was the most unfair, selfish, fucked up treaty of mankind that the king could ever give, and right there, right then, the ninjas shot the king like fifty million times and Will Smith even had to tell them that the king was dead before they would stop firing out of anger. Nah, really, I have no fucking clue what the hell happened to the Medieval times. Somehow they disappeared. Was it that they disappeared into the Reinnassaunce (I can't spell)? I don't really know. Ah, who gives a fuck anyway. Modern times & hypocrisy (1700-present) With the declaration of independence, Britian became a hypocrisy, which is also a type of government (you know like how Obama's communist democratic?) in which the government pretends to be a smartass and act like someone else when they're not them, but they really want everyone to think that they are. That concept was what started the Revolutionary War in.....2004? It resulted in Americans defeating the British, of course, and we really fucked those hypocrites up for good, because they weren't hypocrites anymore. Instead, religion had to come back again with its faiths and all that bullshit, and so everybody's living a hypocritic life now, thanks to all these ridiculous, unbelievable religions that were made up fifty years ago by some intoxicated teenagers who were also drunk at the time as well. Criticism By critics Undoubtfully, hypocrisy has been criticised over and over by many different critics. The minority of the critics who did a topic on hypocrisy that gave a good review of it were probably on drugs anyway, so it doesn't matter. In general Pretty much, everyone hates hypocrites and they wish they would burn in hell, even though not everybody believes there is a hell. They're just that fucking annoying sometimes. That's why so many people say that they hate other people. Yes, that is why. Because they're fucking hypocrites. That's why. That's exactly why, and they can't deny it either. Other than the fact that they always do and never will stop denying it. Personality of most hypocrites From an I'm-not-being-stereotypical-at-all-here view, all hypocrites were lazy faggots who didn't who shit and thought they were so awesome they could take over Russia and China. But who the fuck would want to do that? See also *Bible *Christianity